Is Monogamy Simply for Winter?
There is a strange phenomenon that happens every year somewhere between September and February. The leaves begin to fall, the temperatures drop, and suddenly everyone you know has developed an intense desire to be in love.
Coincidence? I think not.
Because why is it that from September to February, being single suddenly feels less like a lifestyle choice and more like a personal attack from the universe?
In the summer, we’re independent. We’re outside. We’re drinking iced matcha, going on little adventures, posting photo dumps and saying things like, “I actually really love being alone.”
Then September arrives.
Suddenly, your friend who spent all summer declaring she was “focusing on herself” is staring out of a coffee-shop window listening to sad music because she wants someone to text her good morning.
And by October, she has a man.
By November, she has a situationship.
By December, she has someone to bring to the holiday party.
And by February?
Well, apparently Valentine’s Day has turned us all into Victorian widows.
But it does make me wonder: Are we losing the art of self-love, or have we simply become so comfortable being alone that when the right company comes along, we actually have room for it?
Maybe winter doesn't make us desperate for relationships.
Maybe winter just makes us aware.
There’s something about colder weather that makes everyone want to share a blanket, order two drinks instead of one, and dramatically announce, “I just want someone who gets me,” after watching one romantic comedy.
And honestly? I understand.
Maybe wanting companionship isn't the opposite of loving yourself. Maybe you can adore your own company and still want someone else’s.
The problem begins when we start treating a relationship like a seasonal accessory.
Like UGG boots.
Like pumpkin cold foam.
Like suddenly becoming a “Christmas girl” because it’s November 15th.
Perhaps the real question isn't “Why does everyone want a relationship in the winter?”
Maybe it's:
Why do we assume wanting someone means we aren't enough on our own?
Because if we can spend an entire summer being our own date, buying ourselves coffee, romanticizing grocery shopping, and pretending running errands is a European film… surely we can survive winter without auditioning men for the role of Boyfriend.
And yet, somehow, every year we return to the same plot.
The weather gets colder.
The playlists get sadder.
The standards get… questionable.
And suddenly, Mr. Right becomes Mr. Available.
So maybe monogamy isn't simply for winter.
Maybe winter just reminds us that while being alone can be beautiful, being loved can be beautiful too.
And if someone happens to find us while we're busy loving our own lives?
Well, darling, perhaps that's the best kind of plot twist.
After all, isn't the most romantic thing about finding someone that you weren't actually looking for them?
